


pure white, just like sin

by Tinuviel



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Bad end, Established Relationship, Loosely described smut, Mild Blood, Monsters, Other, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Sin Eaters, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 10:13:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20208049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tinuviel/pseuds/Tinuviel
Summary: the warrior of light succumbs, emet-selch is there to guide them.MAJOR MSQ SPOILERS





	pure white, just like sin

**Author's Note:**

> this is kind of a bad end but also a good end????? angst+monster fucking is whatever this is 
> 
> big thanks to the cornvocation <3
> 
> title is from [A Love Suicide](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jig_BSvn8wE)by Yutaka Minobe

The road to Kholusia is long, longer yet when you’re stumbling and coughing, wracked with pain and glimmering spittle every step of the way.

Agony is the forefront of your mind, and regret is the rest. you regret you cannot contain the light, you regret leaving the scions, you regret your failures, you regret failing him.

You walk into the water barefoot, savouring the momentary chill against your skin, you know this might be the last time you feel it, the last time you feel anything perhaps. When the pain finally drowns out your senses, you wonder if you will remember this.

The Kojin’s blessing grants you leave to traverse the Tempest as easily as the land, and you stumble your way through winding paths and sheer drop offs until you find a marvel at the bottom of the sea.

The enormity of the illuminated ocean life held no candle to the splendor of the city laid before you, and when a strange voice bids you your name; a name that is starting to feel ever further from who you are now, ever further from the crackling ball of light encased flesh. still, you give it; still you speak the words; struggling and stuttering, you are welcomed into Amaurot.

A lift takes you to the ground floor, and Emet-Selch is there to greet you with open arms. His dark aether is a balm to your light, and you breathe a sigh of relief when he folds you into his grasp.

You no longer keep track of the time, days and hours are stretched between sleeping and waking, pain and succor, there are moments you lose yourself and then moments when you know who you are clearer than anything.

Emet-Selch is beside you the entire time, he murmurs praise into your skin, feeds you liquid darkness from his hand, and holds you tight when tremors of pain and fear seize your body.

A feral hunger takes you once, and you take to the ascian’s neck like an animal, teeth tearing deep as you sup on blood and darkness like sweet wine. He pets your hair, and calls you his dearest monster, calls you by your name, calls you by a name that you’ve never known, and it soothes the light enough to bring you back to the waking world. you are horrified by the sight of what you’ve done, by the taste of iron in your mouth, but Emet-Selch merely laughs, unbothered by the wound and the monster pacing below your skin.

You’re more monster than human now, radiant and resplendent, you have more limbs and teeth than you once did, more feather and bone than you ever had, all holy geometry of a creature made of pure light.

Emet-Selch shows you the same courtesy. masks and flesh are cast away, and he holds you now with four hands, four claws, all twenty digits trail across your light wrought flesh, and you match him with equal fervor. the lines between light and dark are erased between you, blending and twisting into a single pool until you feel _Hades_ as keenly as the pain that once tore through you.

You wonder why you feared it, you wonder why you hated the light, if you had known it would taste like this, that you could reach the precipice of ecstasy and climb higher yet,

_Oh, you would have fallen much quicker._

Hades watches as you descend on the people of the first, baleful and beautiful, your destruction is an expression of your love. For what could it be besides love? you, the warrior of light, the warrior of darkness, always stepping forward in defense of what you held dear, raising blade and spell to protect, to preserve, to save. your love is as deep as the ocean, and now, it is blistering and glorious in it’s destruction. 

You will take everyone’s lives in your hands and hold them tight, your love will keep them eternal, your love will keep them safe. 

And when the land is blown clean with light, Hades joins you, and you express your love again, different, darker, a form of intimacy deeper than the word can begin to describe. you dance together, the sweet music of the first’s rejoining guiding your steps, souls weaving together more beautifully than any great tapestry.

_philia_  
_eros_  
_storge_  
_agape_

Yes, you tell yourself, as the world falls around your many ears, your many limbs, your many eyes, yes, it was all for love.

**Author's Note:**

> _ who else could i love, but you? _ :D 
> 
> um does this count as mind break or.....just like,,morality slide to hell? 
> 
> i will harp on about love and the shb storyline till the day i fucking die because oh boy


End file.
